Wednesday, October 11, 2006

The Unofficial Report

Well, where do I start…with my predicament with a future looming with five people from Bihar, three from Madhya Pradesh, two from Uttar Pradesh, one Kashmiri, one Marathi, one from Tamil Nadu, one from Karnataka, one from Andhra Pradesh and one your truly. Or maybe I should talk about their characteristics: one who is physically uncoordinated, one who writes Aaj ki kabita, one who recites Sanskrit shlokas, one who keeps quiet, three who shout, one who complains about his non-existent blisters, one who teaches botany (okay, I learnt a lot from that quarter), one who mouths silly South Indian stuff and thinks I’m dumb, perhaps simply because of the way I look, one who draws really bad sketches, one who pukes his guts out every time the bus moves an inch and then says blames it one something that he ate or didn’t eat, all of whom take numerous breaks to drink tea, all who showed genuine expression of surprise as they discovered that i'm quite knowledgeable in many areas of academic or practical intelligence, all who were scandalized every time I lit up a cig, or the one who religiously covered his nose at the aforementioned activity, or maybe about the who decided that he loves me too (on top of his girlfriend). Maybe I should mention that NOW THAT WE ARE BACK, NONE OF US TALK TO EACH OTHER THAN IT IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY…(although there was one complaint today: Should I be writing an email??) Hah! You wish…sod off!

Now, I guess the itinerary of the trek would make some sense: it included Gangotri, Gaumukh, Dodital, Dharwadhar, Hanumanchatti and Yamunotri. Quite a few kms were to be spent on the bus, however we had to walk 106 kms…. Hence the mammary loss! (Despite the fact that Satya-san told me in Delhi that I don’t look thinner at all….) The terrain was beautiful, despite being Garhwal, I have inherent bias towards the un-spoilt beauty of Kumaon….but man I wish I had better company. Even though I thought I’d stay all aloof to begin with, things turned around as I chatted with an expat bihari who is almost half bong due to educational background… Then on, I calculated that I could be alone and miserable, or stoned and making fun of myself… you see there was initial thing… “Yaar, hindi me batao! Mujhe angrezi nahi aati.” So, I did… but as you well know, I have that massive Jaat influence in my language, man…I tell you, Jaw-Dropping material!

FOOD HABITS:
This bunch of people fuels themselves with tea… Subah ki chai, then another cup… breakfast, then chai, then another couple of tea breaks with maggi and biscuits as and when available, then lunch and tea, then some more tea…maybe one or two cups, even three sometimes, and then dinner and finally….chai…. All the while, between these umpteen, grrrrrrr….tea breaks the group would amble along on the trek… also, food has to be above par… and yes! Chammas lao bhai…katori bhi do…. And the poor guy at side-y restaurant in side-y town in the hills came running with said spoons and bowls, which had manufacturer stickers on them…must have brought them direct from a shop… and one guy actually turns his nose, hides it in the palm of his hand when someone eats anything non-vegetarian. MADNESS! Especially atop the thing that he excavates his nose in public, probes his behind in public, belches loudly in public, yawns for everyone in 300 meter radius in public and commits many other un-mentionable sins...in public.

Anyway, now that I’ve sat on this for too long, I’m getting tired of writing one line a day… I’ll let the picture do all the talking… it is one of the OT’s a fellow trek group member who took a bath in the local tube well and was drying his clothes on the way... Now you now what i was up with...

P.S. i had fun, and i guess i made a few friends...

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well well, a very engaging read. My country sure looks in great hands or shall we say cups of tea.

But where is the picture you mention?

I still think you are in an enviable position for one good fucking reason, character studies for that future bureaucratic navel that you could churn out from the mass of unlittered flesh dumped from rotting urban/rural Indian locations and their aspirations for this future Superpower.

So we have arrived, come fuck with us.

xanjukta said...

yaarrr... major issue with trying to upload the pic... finally managed to do so... by the way, Satya san never seen such language written by you...

Anonymous said...

Bole to....

Well, I am so bored in life, am trying to do a make over, looks started a while ago and now language...let see what all I can change!

xanjukta said...

Accha to videsh jaane ki taiyari mein sare badlav kiye ja rahe hai.... oops! i guess i let the cat out of the bag!!! kya kare, hum aise hi hai... Photo pasand aya???

Anonymous said...

Satya's true self came across in the digital world only when Biharis were discussed....

You wrote the travelogue well..hopefully ur travel-mates were better than u had made them appear...hehe...maybe u shld make them try some brandy instead of tea..then it will be more engaging...

Abhigyan (Beta version)